Food Control

So my cousin was talking about how she doesn't feel like food is controlling her life anymore, and I just wanted to say YAY! for her, and that I can not wait until that day comes for me. As previously stated I'm pretty much a sugar addict. Not even really a pretty much about it. I am one. And when I found out I was gluten intolerant, it was a pretty big blow. Like, no more donuts (not that I was a huge donut fan anyways but still), no more brownies, no more pie, no more banana bread, no more cake, no more cookies. Which granted my favorite forms of sugar are candy and ice cream, so I wasn't too too bummed about the pies, but who doesn't love homemade chocolate chip cookies?? And, no more cookie dough ice cream? No more cake batter ice cream from Cold Stone? No more licorice??? I LOVE licorice. But alas, no more. However there was still a lot of junk foods I could eat, surprisingly most candies don't actually have gluten in them. Except for licorice of course. Curses. But because I was such a food and sugar addict, when those things got taken away I think I just held on to all my other junk foods tighter. Like people would think when you find out you have a gluten intolerance, you would start to eat healthier. But I'm pretty sure I started eating worse. I started holding on so tightly to the foods I could eat, like potato chips and chocolate and soda and Laffy Taffy. It got pretty bad sometimes. But at least when I cut out gluten I had a very good reason to not eat it. When I ingested gluten I would be in pain for easily 3 days. So after a few weeks of cheating a few times and really feeling the difference, it was not hard anymore. It's so easy for me to say no to gluten or things I think might have gluten in them, because I know the consequences.

But this times it's different. This time it's, oh hey let's cut this out for 3 weeks and see if I notice a difference, but  I don't really know what kind of difference to be looking for. My pain levels are already managed, so then what do I look for? Less sores popping up in my armpits? Well I already don't have many. Though I guess they could get smaller. I'm not expecting the scars to go away because those are pretty permanent. Maybe my constipation issues could get better, but I'm pretty sure those will get better with the more fruits and veggies and stuff I eat. (yay fiber!) And with less sugars ingested. So yeah I can poop better now, but that's such a hard thing to tell myself when I'm staring at those Air Heads saying... I want to eat you. And then my logical side says, no be healthy, poop better! Sorry Charlie, but not the worlds greatest argument there. With the gluten it was pretty much an immediate change. And so far I haven't really seen any change. But also I've been messing up a lot because holy moly corn is in everything!! Like did you know that there is corn oil in ranch dressing? Or that anything that says maltodextrin is probably corn. Or if is just says "vegetable starch" and doesn't specify which vegetable, you can probably consider it to be corn. Or even things that are dry, like dry mixes for gravy or dry mixes for hot chocolate or spiced cider or something have corn, either corn starch or corn syrup solids. WTF is a corn syrup solid?!?! I was killing time at work today so I went on a crazy rampage of reading labels and discovered all of this. Though I was very excited to learn that the brand of chai tea mix that they have at the coffee shop down the hall does not have corn syrup, so sometime if I'm craving something sweet and hot (since pretty much the only hot beverage left to me is tea, and while I love tea and it is delicious and good for you, usually not very sweet) I can still go get my self a *small* soy chai. Not too many calories, since I am trying to get healthy and lose weight during all this, but at least no corn! It's so nice when I find something like that that makes me feel better about this whole "not eating corn" thing. Because when my cousin told me I should try it I was pretty much assuming I would be cutting out sugar forever. But I don't have to, yay! Just cut out candy. And excessive amounts of added sugar. Which will still be hard, but heck yes, let's do this!

So pretty much I am looking forward to the day when either this all makes a difference or it's been 3 weeks and I'm getting used to it and the cravings are going away, because I don't like feeling like my life is controlled by my food cravings. Food is fuel, I understand that. The saying you are what you eat has never held so much meaning for me as it has the last year. I get it. And I understand that you need food to survive and so yeah life does have to revolve around food a little. Especially when you have food allergies, obviously it's a little stressful. But I don't want to feel like I have to eat something right then because I'm craving it. Or seriously there would be times when candy didn't even sound good because I had eaten so much of it but I would still eat it because it was a habit or because my brain was telling me I needed to even though my stomach said no. I just want to be done with that! So here goes the next 3 weeks or so of trying to kill those cravings, of choosing what I want to eat and not eating because I feel like I have to or that's all my body wants right now. It's like when you are training a dog, you don't take them for a walk when they beg for one because otherwise they learn to beg. You take them for a walk as a reward for not begging. So here's to not giving my body sugar because all it wants is sugar, but giving myself maybe a little sugar because I haven't had any in a while and I've been being good. I can do this. Ugh these next weeks coming up are going to be a hard lesson in will power.

Also, today was my first official corn free day!! (because I finally learned to read labels before I eat something and not just assume hehe) So what I ate today:
A banana before work because I was running late and didn't have time for breakfast
A veggie/cheese omelet for breakfast at work
A salad with chicken and olives and pepperoncini's and carrots and celery and apple cider vinegar and olive oil for lunch
A cutie and a small soy chai
A dish of brown rice pasta with broccoli, zucchini, prosciutto, and goat cheese and an apple and an orange for dinner

Yum! No Corn, yay! And lots of fruits and veggies, so hopefully I will poop tomorrow :)