Diet... again hehe

Ok so the last couple days I've been messing up a lot, and sometimes on purpose just because I'm craving something so bad but as previously stated I'm going to stop that. I realized today (and a lot lately really) that I am really bad at sticking with things when they get hard. I just give up and do whatever is easier. But who really wants to be the person who can't fight for what they want? Or who just gives up on everything? I want to be healthy and I want to be fit and I want to be a strong person. So I'm working on it. But I'm also realizing that it doesn't happen over night. Of course, but it's hard to realize that. I think oh I can just do this now, but sometimes you mess up. But I'm really hoping that next time I mess up I don't take 3 days to get back on the horse like this time. Also my goal is to go the next 2 weeks without messing up. I just want to get to my next dr appointment! Then I don't have to go in and say I'm a horrible patient. Cuz that's never fun.
But I realized this morning at work (while I was daydreaming because there were only 3 people in the pool) that I'm gonna have to make some new habits if I want this to really work. First off, they always say when you get a new diet you can't expect to eat like you did before. I realize this, and it makes sense, but it's weird to actually go through personally. Like I said earlier, I love Mexican food but now I can't have tomatoes and peppers. So I'm just going to have to reinvent Mexican food in my mind to not involve tomatoes and peppers and corn tortillas. Will it be hard? Yes, but can I do it? Yes. Secondly, I'm going to have to realize that this is a months or years long journey, not a week. I can't expect to be ok with my new diet in 3 days. I have to get through the cravings of the old diet first, and then still give my taste buds time to change and for my mental state to get used to the new way of eating. My cousins recently went vegan and they said it took a good 4-6 months before they really got used to their new eating routines and didn't think something was "missing" from their diet. So I just have to accept I'm in this for the long haul. Which is hard, but isn't my health worth it? Thirdly, I think I need to get of Pinterest. Does this make me sad? Yes. But, looking at food I can't eat for hours on end really doesn't help. Also the other night I was really tired and planned on going to bed by like 9:30 or 10 but didn't get to sleep til 11 because I was browsing Pinterest. I've realized lately I'm kind of becoming a smart phone addict. I will just sit there and play on Pinterest or play games or surf the internet on my phone for hours because I think I have nothing else to do, but really my bathroom needs to be cleaned or I could at least be reading a book if I just want to sit there and not move too much. So I think that's another thing that will help, is not looking at food I can't eat on Pinterest all day. Sometimes I do find things that I can adapt, but generally it just makes me want something I can't have. Also it kind of takes away my own imagination. So I will have to work on that. Lastly, I need to be more prepared for food emergencies. Half the time I cheat on my diet it's because I am tired and don't feel like cooking or I'm working 12 hours a day and only have time for microwaveable food. So I'm thinking on my days off I really need to work more on making food for the days I do work 12 hours a day. And usually I'm ok about that, but I've been so focused on making good whole meals and all these creative things for me to eat that then it takes so long and I'm too tired to actually do it. My cousin Cathy always compliments me on the fact that I am creative enough to make whole meals and dishes to eat when she will just have a cooked sweet potato for dinner and call it good, but sometimes I think she has the right idea. Like last week I made baked pork chops and apples, which were delicious, but then I only had left overs for one day and I ate those one night that I didn't have to work because I was tired and didn't feel like making anything else, so then the day I did work I ended up eating microwaveable things that I am not supposed to eat. And let me tell you, I can tell a difference on the days I mess up versus the days I don't because holy gas machine. Sometimes I think I could power a small car. It's ridiculous. So, I'm thinking on my days off (like especially tomorrow since I have the whole day off and not just an afternoon) I'm gonna work on making more food that I can just grab and go. Like bake 4 sweet potatoes and throw them in a bag, make a double batch of quinoa salad, mix up some turkey salad that I can throw in a brown rice tortilla (the bread that I bought gives me gas, I think because it has agave nectar in it, but the tortillas have been fine so far), cook some plain chicken breasts or pieces of steak to just have cooked meat to throw on a salad, etc etc. I am usually a person who likes to just wing things, but when you are dealing with as many food restrictions as I am currently you can't really wing things. Also it will be good practice for going back to school in the fall when I will have to start packing lunches again. So I think this will be good for me.
So those are the things I've decided I need to work on the most, and will be working on over the next couple months. I can't wait until summer starts (only 3 more weeks of working on campus!) when I don't have to stare at food that I can't eat all day and I don't have to work 55 hours a week so I will have more time to devote to figuring out food and recipes and stuff. For now I am just going to do things simply. Also, I am going to visit the 'rents for about a week after school gets out, so then I can have my mom help me out with ideas, because moms are great for things like that. :) Also my mom is an awesome cook. So yay! Vacation!
Anyways, off to bed cuz I'm exhausted and it's 10 at night which is way past my bedtime even on a Saturday night. But wish me luck! This will be a very hard but hopefully very helpful and personal-growth-inducing couple months.